Sorrow is part of everyone’s lifetime

…and the consequence of an open, passionate heart.

walking home tonight

with grazed, bleeding kneecaps after tripping over something unseen while running, i bent over to 1. catch my breath 2. examine my wounds 3. ponder about life after my injury i.e how it's going to suck walking around with my disfigured knees.

"are you okay?" i heard, caught by surprised, but i turned around anyway.

there he was, an Indian cabbie filling his vehicle up at the petrol station, checking in on me.

"i saw you limping while you were walking, are you in a lot of pain?"

long story short, he kindly offered me a lift home and also to buy me first aid materials for my wounds. while i appreciated his simple gestures, i had to politely turn him down because i wanted to take a walk home on my own. we chatted for a short while more before i decided to make my way home, alternating between sprints and walks.

i was initially upset about how 98% of our apathetic population didn't even give me a hand or offered help while i fell on all fours, and then this cabbie came along and made my night. love how his simple act posed as a timely reminder to myself, of how we should always be kind, and to always help help help, to give without expecting anything in return. :)

stretched

there is only one of me.

i have my life to lead, errands to run, family to spend time with, hobbies to take up, interests to explore, friends to meet, events/festivals to attend, classes/work, and et cetra et cetra.

and because there's only one of me, how am i supposed to do all of the above without first tiring myself out? i make the effort to allocate time for everyone and everything and it really hurts me when people demanddemand&demand for more, or worse when they decide to blame it all on me.

it's my fault i have 'too many friends'
it's my fault i want to learn everything at once
it's my fault i have too much going on
it's my fault i don't manage my time well enough
it's my fault i'm not pleasing youYOUyouYOUyou&you

it's always my fault, but how am i supposed to please everyone? i try because i care. but it's also because i care that i get upset, and i hate to be upset.

i'm so tired of not having enough me-time, so tired of unappreciative people, so tired of being upset at people.

oil pastel experimentation

inexpensive. therapeutic. rewarding - 3 words that accurately sum up my new found hobby. really love how it gets me to sit down and focus for a period of time, denying my mind the permission to wonder, aimlessly or into all the wrong places.

with so much time (or not) this holiday, i figured i needed to get my shit together and also rediscover myself as much as possible.

the past few weeks have been real rough to me. i wantneed a break.

the end of a beginning

rounding off my first string of activations with Budweiser with this bunch(and a couple of others not in the picture) of people. i must say that i've had SO MUCH fun in the last few weeks, despite the less than pleasant heat that is.

so thankful through and through for everyone, and everything.

the proposal

and i finally popped the question.

through my poly days, my days in Advertising & PR, my time in FMSS and FMSA,
and through the rest of the time outside school, at my highest and sometimes my lowest, i found someone;

someone who thinks in the same frequency as myself, someone who is so very much like myself (not physically), and someone who bounces with the same level of energy that i have;

someone who always knows what i'm about to say, someone who completes my sentences 8 out of 10 times and someone who would readily mouth the next line of our favourite songs while i sing;

someone who loves me unconditionally, someone who accepts me for who i am, someone i could let my guards down around to be myself;

someone i'd dance with on the streets without a care in the world, someone i'd love to crawl into bed with to talk about every and anything in this world at night and someone whom i never want to see be upset, like ever.

"Will you be my bestestestest friend?" i asked.

"I do" she said. (i'm sure she meant "will")

#nohomo

here's to the awkwardest question i've popped in a while, because i just had to.

walking home tonight

i fought the urge to not look away when my eyes are locked with a stranger's and forced a smile.

brought up in a family that heavily emphasised on the need to stay away from strangers, i realised that i have sub-consciously become another cold and clammy being in this society. we're not smiling enough to one another.

can we all just to take into comfort the fact that no one's going to give a fuck about how weird you're being and go on to make someone else's day a better one, starting with your smile?